Duty Free Mantra

Scene: Newcastle Airport Departure lounge

Dramatis Personnae: 2 Fat Slags, Wayne and Waynetta Slob.

All are chewing vigorously. Fat Slag 1 totters towards spare seats on high heels which surely must break under her weight. Fat Slag 2 follows, flesh wobbling free from skimpy shorts to reveal a stretched butterfly on her backside. Her tee shirt reads “We are young, we are failures and we love it” (Yes, really)

Wayne and Waynetta have 3 mobile phones between them. He fishes inside his shorts for his second one and conducts 2 conversations at once about a duty free order, passed on to Waynetta on her phone. He is incapable of remembering the 4 bottles required so they are repeated loudly many times into the second phone and to Waynetta. I do not wish to know the items on this shopping list but they are indelibly printed on my mind long before Wayne’s conversation is finished.

“Baccardi, Jack Daniels, Malibu, Archers.”

This entry was posted in Great Thoughts. Bookmark the permalink.

Comments are closed.